Romantic relationships are selfish

when i'm building a startup, me and musa might have disagreements or get upset or whatever but we put all of that aside because we know that in order to build something bigger than ourselves, to build an actual company, we have to focus on the shared vision and put all our energy into that. there's no time to waste getting into bullshit arguments about little stuff. we know that at the end of the day, we share a vision and we're going to work towards that. this is why alignment is so important, because without a shared vision, nothing binds the relationship together. nothing motivates us to ignore the distractions and disagreements. in a romantic relationship it's all about yourself. you want this type of person, with these attributes, that does these things, and treats you this specific way. and at the first sight of struggle or differences or misalignment, we think it's time to just jump ship. "maybe this wasn't the right person for me". "maybe they weren't the one" i don't think people are 100% compatible out of the box. it only works if you're equally aligned on a vision. whether that be a vision of the relationship (a family, a home, a certain lifestyle) or if you're building something bigger than yourselves together, like a business, a project, etc. You have to be aligned on something. Without alignment, it's bound to fail. Because the relationship will be selfish. The moment the other person isn't exactly what you want them to be, or when you aren't getting from them exactly everything you want, there remains no other incentive to stay. But with something bigger than yourselves, you remain aligned. You realize that looking at the bigger picture, you're on the same team. You both want the same thing. And suddenly those disagreements won't be the end of it all.